East Coast Earthquake

The TV is reporting that there was an earthquake near Washington DC.

Reports of widespread damage and chaos are pouring in...



I shamelessly stole this from my friend Dan Smith, who lives up in the Bay area.

2008?

Hey will somebody please tell our President what year it is!

I see a new staff position being created - Secretary of Time and Date

Two Kinds of People

There are two kinds of people in the world -

Those that finish what they start,

and

Detroit

I stole this from Wicked Thoughts. I guess its going to be one of those kind of days...

Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

“What’s the matter?” Jack asked.

“I’ve been transferred to Detroit , there’s crazy people there. They’ve got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation.”

Jack replied, “I’ve lived in Detroit all my life. It’s not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice private school. It’s as safe a place as anywhere in the world.”

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, “Oh, thank you. I’ve been worried to death. But if you live there and say it’s OK, I’ll take your word for it. So, what do you do for a living?”

“I’m the tail-gunner on a Budweiser truck.”

I shot what?

Life on Mars

More Ray Stevens Music

Ray Stevens - We the People

It's no Gitarzan but I like it anyway:

First watch this video:



My apologies if you are not a queen fan.

Now! Watch this video:

The Government Can

From Tim Hawkins :

How Old?

I stole this from Jay at MArooned

You know you're getting old when you see a cute, approximately-teenaged girl walking down your street and your first thought is,


"Hey! I wonder if she's old enough to... babysit?"

Cash for Codgers

Og over at the Neanderpundit thinks that the "success" of Cash for Clunkers program will lead our neophyte president to to model his new health care program the same way.

You need a service from your health care provider you will have to trade in a codger in order to get that care. Og suspects that they fee schedule may be:

Heart surgery? Two geezers.
Colonoscopy? one geezer or two dogs.
Boob job? five geezers and a bowl of goldfish. And one abortion.
Liver replacement? One geezer and all his clothes, and a cat.

I hope the libs in congress don't read this. They may just like the idea.

Electric Sheep

This may be fake, or maybe not, but its entertaining none the less.

If this is real I think the London 2012 Olympics Committee should hire these guys to do their opening ceremony

Shoe Throwing

OK, so maybe this is just wrong, but its still kind of funny.

Shoe Throwing

Besides, I scored a 15

Definition of "Boy"

My whole family got up today and headed for Santa's Art Shop.

While there I saw a sign that was the perfect definition of a boy.

Boy (noun) - Noise that has dirt on it.

How to Piss off the Democrats

Are you as sick and tired as I am of the media and all the Democrats flaunting the big O's election to the presidency as such a world changing event? Are you as sick and tired as I am of hearing about how great it is that we finally elected our first black president? Well I am. I always assumed that we would eventually have a black president. I just thought that it would be a principled conservative and not an empty suited, no experience, tongue tied, gun grabbing, tax em til they bleed socialist.

John over at John's Egocentric World has the perfect solution to that problem:

1-Bush should resign now.
2-Then Dick Cheney becomes President .
3-Then he appoints Condoleeza Rice as VP.
4-Then Cheney resigns two weeks later

Thus making Condoleeza Rice, a Republican, the first black woman President!

SCORE!

Then both Hillary and Barack could sit back and settle for being second place. Sure we will still be stuck with Obama and all his socialist friends for the next four years but at least all this talk about being "the first" would be over.

Sound Financial Advice?

Michael Millar writing for the British Spectator Business has investing in these turblent times all figured out.

If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95, with HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50, £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5, but if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214. So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle.

Its a pity I'm not more of a beer drinker. I could put this theory to test....

Robot Test

It is amazing some of the things I can find to do to waste time when I am supposed to be doing something useful, like sleeping.


Created by OnePlusYou

Now That's Just Wrong

I feel very guilty about just how funny I think this video is.

Nerd God

I got the link for this from Denny.

Is it wrong that I'm proud of this? Or does that just confirm the results?