Hawks and Doves

My dear wife and children always put out birdseed in the winter for their feathered friends that hang around here when the weather gets a little chilly. Mostly we have doves that congregate in the backyard and several little finches that like the thistle seed they leave in the front yard.

The downside of their kindhearted act is that our neighbor's cat which thinks of our backyard as his own personal litterbox and dove buffet occasionally goes after the doves there. The other preditor that seems to like the doves in our backyard is a hawk. Well the entire family pretty much agrees on one thing, we don't mind feeding the hawk, but we want the fleabag cat to stay the heck out of our yard.

This evening just before dinner was ready my oldest daughter was sitting at the computer when something thumped pretty hard into the glass patio window. I looked up to see what my daughter had thrown against the window when a second larger object also hit the window.

The first thump was a dove in full flight. The second thump was the hawk who seemed to have a lot more control than the dove. The dove stunned itself when it hit the glass, the hawk didn't. The result of this daredevil game these birds were playing is right here.



The hawk sat there for a few moments kneeding his dinner with his talons. The dove was still twitching so we think the hawk was finishing off the dove as well as securing his grip.

We were going to watch the feast, but the neighbor's cat decided to get involved. It hopped over the fence and the hawk too off with his dinner. Which was too bad. I can't get close to the stupid cat, so I keep hoping that the hawk will take care of it for me one day. I would love to see this hawk winging his way across the backyard with the cat riding where the dove is in the second picture.

The Dungeon Master Dies

E. Gary Gygax, the man who invented Dungeons and Dragons died yesterday. Rumor his it that he was not eaten by a red dragon.

I started playing D&D back in 1976. The original rules were published in 1974, by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson. However my fellow gamers and I didn't waste much time on Gary Gygax's version of D&D. We very quickly bastardized several different gaming systems to make our own version of the D&D which we played all through college. Yes, I was a total geek in college, you didn't think I started acting this way just recently did you?

Once I got out of college I got a chance to try playing regular old Advanced Dungeons and Dragons the way E. Gary Gygax intended it to be played. I hated it. But for three years it was the only game in town because none of the gamers in Amarillo TX were willing to try the system my friends and I had used in college. So for three years I languished in Gygax hell.

When I moved to Ridgecrest I was reunited with one of my old gaming buddies and I immediately joined in the gaming group that he was playing in. Getting back to the good old system from my college days was like a breath of fresh air. Gaming was fun again. Then we discovered a role playing game called Runequest and we never looked back. We played role playing games every Friday night for anywhere from 5 to 10 hours.

During the 18 year period from 1976 to 1994 I suspect the only thing I spent more time on than playing role playing games was work, but only because I had to do it 8 to 9 hours a day.

In the early 90s things started changing around here. Many members of our gaming group moved away. We tried bring guys into replace them but they were too Advanced Dungeons and Dragons oriented. In order to play Runequest, or our old made up version of D&D you had to be willing to role play and to think. You couldn't solve every problem by killing everything that moved. After several years of struggling with Gygaxian gamers who were only interested in playing AD&D I finally gave up and quit the group.

This was a total cold turkey split for me. No 12 steps, no patches, no programs. I went home filled three boxes with every piece of role playing paper or information I owned and shoved them into the corner of the attic, where they languish to this day.

I should dig some of that stuff out some day. I may have a few books in there that could have some resale value. In the late 80s my gaming group and I went to the Origins Gaming Convention in Los Angeles. On a total lark, we all entered the AD&D tournament they were having. I decided to not take the game very seriously and was just trying to entertain the the other players at the table. I think I succeeded marvelously. By the time the tournament ended I had most of the onlookers giggling and muttering "I can't believe he said, or did that." Without even trying I finished up the tournament in second place. Later I was wondering around in the market room trying to figure out what to spend my winnings on when E. Gary Gygax put in an appearance. Immediately all my friends started insisting that I use my winnings to buy the latest AD&D book that had been released and then get E. Gary Gygax to autograph it.

I have never been a big fan of stars. I'm not a autograph seeker. In my lifetime I only ever collected a few autographs. I met Rory Calhoun in a restaurant in Rapid City when I was a kid. I got to meet George McGovern when he was running for president. I got to say Hi to Ken Curtis one year at Frontier Days in Cheyenne. I have a baseball signed by the Oakland A's team including Vita Blue, J Catfish Hunter and Reggie Jackson. The only autograph I have that I really enjoy having is a hand written note and a signed copy of Chicago's Night and Day album, signed by Jason Scheff, the base player.

But in most instances I found that meeting some famous person to be kind of a letdown. They never seemed to live up to everyone else's expectations. E. Gary Gygax was no exception. I picked up my book and my friends shoved me over next to him where he was having his picture taken with one of the Convention organizers. As I held out the book, he glanced at me and snapped "I don't have time for autograghs." So I used that opportunity to try and escape what I found to be a very uncomfortable situation. But before I could shoulder my way through the crowd the convention organizer grabbed my arm and told Gygax, "Gary, you will love this guy, he placed second in the AD&D tournament and had everyone in stitches in the process."

E. Gary Gygax gave me a bit of a fish-eye stare, then snatched the book out of my hand, scribbled his name inside the cover and handed it back to me with a muttered "nice job kid." Then he walked away, taking the enormous crowd of admirers with him.

I went home, tossed the book on a shelf when it sat untouched until it ended up in a box in the attic with the rest of my role playing stuff. I don't even remember what book it was. I only knew it was a hardback AD&D book that I was never going to use to play games.

In the end I should say something nice about the recently deceased Mr. Gygax. I didn't like his game and I didn't like him. But he did create a game that got me and my friends started on a hobby that caused us to waste 1000s of hours over the years. Certainly I could have used that time to do more constructive things. But what the heck, I had fun. Sure it was geek fun, but even geeks are allowed to have fun occasionally, aren't they?

First Geese

I saw my first geese of the season yesterday while leaving my club volleyball practice.

Each winter Ridgecrest is the vacation spot for thousands of snow geese. Having all those geese hanging out at the golf course makes the place kind of messy, but I don't care. I like hearing them fly over. You just have to be careful not to look up at them. I also like seeing the flocks of geese dining on all the different grassy fields in town.

Most of them like to hang out at the golf course and over on the high school sports fields.

Sure I only saw four geese fly over but that means the rest will be here soon. That also means that winter is here - somewhere. It was 78 degrees here today so it doesn't seem too much like winter yet.

25 Things A Man Should Know

Popular Mechanics published this list:

25 Skills Every Man Should Know:

1. Patch a radiator hose
2. Protect your computer
3. Rescue a boater who has capsized
4. Frame a wall
5. Retouch digital photos
6. Back up a trailer
7. Build a campfire
8. Fix a dead outlet
9. Navigate with a map and compass
10. Use a torque wrench
11. Sharpen a knife
12. Perform CPR
13. Fillet a fish
14. Maneuver a car out of a skid
15. Get a car unstuck
16. Back up data
17. Paint a room
18. Mix concrete
19. Clean a bolt-action rifle
20. Change oil and filter
21. Hook up an HDTV
22. Bleed brakes
23. Paddle a canoe
24. Fix a bike flat
25. Extend your wireless network

Personally I think this list is mostly crap. I used to think Popular Mechanics was an interesting magazine. But if Popular Mechanics thinks this is the definitive list of things a man needs to know how to do they need to strap on their waterskis, put on their leather jacket and get ready to jump that shark.

Does every man really need to know how to protect a computer, retouch digital photos, back up data, hook up an HDTV and extend a wireless network. These tasks are what many men have teenage kids for. Granted some men love doing these tasks. But I know several well rounded men's men who don't have a clue how to use, set up or maintain a computer and their lives are complete and happy without this knowledge. These just are not skills that many men (or women) will need in their lives. In many cases many families will find that they only need one family member who can do these things.

Some men have their own way of doing some of these things:

2. Protect your computer. Men will protect their computer the same way they protect the rest of their stuff - by shooting anyone who tries to take it.

5. Retouch digital photos. Why retouch a photo when you can just cut that lying bitch's face out of it.

16. Back up data. Can't be any tougher than backing up a trailer (see no. 6). Again this is the teenager's job.

21. Hook up an HDTV. If you have trouble connecting an HDMI cable between the output of the receiver and the input of the TV then you need to hire a nanny and never leave the house without her.

25. Extend your wireless network. If your wireless network isn't large enough maybe you should stop surfing the net while mowing your lawn.

If you want a shorter more succinct list you should check out the list of required knowledge for men over at Sippican Cottage:

Sippican's List Of Everything A Man Should Know:

1. Know how to do whatever the hell you feel like doing
2. Learn how to take your lumps for doing #1

Personally I have always liked Robert A. Heinlein's list of skills a man needs in his stories about Lazarus Long:

A man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - Lazarus Long

That quote has pretty much summed up a lot of what I think a man should know how to do. But there are a few things that I would have added to the list. So here is the list that I hope I manage to teach my son before he gets too old to listen to me anymore. There are not a lot of specifics here. Every man will have different likes, desires, and interests so I tend to avoid specifics like know how to build a house or rebuild an engine. I love building things, but I pay someone to fix my car. Beyond regular maintenance I just have no interest in car repair.

Every man should know:

1. How to buy quality stuff and then take care if it so it lasts.
2. How to maintain your car - oil, filter, plugs, lube, etc.
3. How to change a tire.
4. When and how to shoot, clean, maintain and assemble firearms.
5. How to kill it, clean it, cook it and eat it.
6. How to talk to children.
7. How to talk to women.
8. How to earn a living and live within the means that living provides.
9. How to set up, use, clean, sharpen and maintain power and hand tools.
10. How to repair or replace things that break around your house.
11. How and why you should be on time.
12. How to hold, feed and change a baby.
13. How to wait patiently for the women in your life.
14. To put the needs of your family ahead of your own wants.
15. When and how to take a stand and which battles are worth fighting and which battles are OK to lose.
16. To have faith.
17. That acting macho doesn't make you a man. (Also known as the "If you have to tell people you are a man, you aren't." rule)
18. How and when to make commitments and to keep them.
19. That you become a man by being a loving husband, a good dad and a trusted friend.
20. How and why you do the right thing, even if no one is looking and no one will ever know.

LALOLKFATYK

LALOLKFATYK = (Learn A Lot Of Little Known Facts About Those You Know)

I sat down this evening determined to write a blog entry. I spent the day working at the antenna range with no air conditioner and is trying to get by with a portable swamp cooler which is barely cutting it. It was about 107 outside and around 90 inside. I'm hot, tired and my brain is not in a long writing mode. So I decided to try this meme that has been floating around for a while. I think I can handle short answers this evening.

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Maybe, the lady my Mom shared a room with at the hospital and my Mom both named their sons the same first and middle names. One of us is named after the other one. Neither woman would fess up to who came first.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Sunday evening. Watching my oldest daughter sit with some of her classmates while trying to deal with the sudden death of her friend and knowing that there was little I could do to help her understand why this happened or to reduce the pain she was feeling.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Sometimes, if I take my time I do OK. If I don't its like a secret code that sometimes I can't even read. Which is embarrassing because I paid for two years of college working as a draftsman. There was a time when I could print so well that I could freehand corrections to notes that were made with a Leroy mechanical lettering template.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Braunschweiger - the best I ever had was from The Sausage Shop in New Ulm, MN.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Three

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
That would depend on whether or not I would laugh at my dumb jokes.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Too much, too often and sometimes at totally inappropriate times and circumstances.

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Not since I was 3.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
The problem with bungee jumping is the splat at the bottom.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Cap't Crunch. But I try not to eat much of it these days.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Golf, Bowling, Running and Court Shoes - yes, all others are tied loose enough to slip off.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Smelling? I'm getting to that age where the older I get the stronger I used to be.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Baskin Robbins Winter White Chocolate

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Do they smile?

RED OR PINK?
My dear wife won't let me wear pink so red I guess.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My worn out knees.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My Dad's Dad. My Grandfather died when I was still to young and stupid to really appreciate the things he did for me.

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Gray Shorts and bare feet.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Sausage and Chicken Jambalya

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The US Open.

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
The one that breaks off in the sharpener and ruins the day for everyone else.

FAVORITE SMELLS?
Fresh sawn walnut. sauteing onions and peppers. Unlit pipe tobacco. But not at the same time.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My dear wife.

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
NFL Football, The tour de france, women's court volleyball, PGA majors golf.

HAIR COLOR?
Transparent

EYE COLOR?
Blue

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Yes.

FAVORITE FOOD?
Cheeseburgers. Specifically In-n-out Double Double with grilled onions.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I like them both, but not in the same movie.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
In the theater - Spiderman 3, At home - Die Hard with my oldest daughter last night.

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
An old faded white In-n-out tee shirt complete with holes.

SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter, it's too damned hot here in the summer.

HUGS OR KISSES?
From my dear wifeand kids? Both! From anyone else I'll settle for hugs.

FAVORITE DESSERT?
My dear wife's homemade carrot cake.

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Since I didn't send this to anyone and readership of my blog is very low - probably no one.

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Nancy Pelosi

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Phoenix Guards by Steven Brust

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
My mouse pad is the padded arm rest of my rocker recliner so my arm is on my mouse pad.

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Die Hard with my daughter.

FAVORITE SOUND?
Coyotes yelping at night. The creek behind the cabin, my kids laughing.

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
As I get older I have started appreciating both a lot more than I used to but I was always a Motown guy. I'll take the Supremes, Temptations, Four Tops, Vandellas or the Miracles over any group from England.

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
In raw miles it would be Hawaii. I have always felt at home almost anywhere I have ever been, except for my last job. There, I could sit in the crowded meeting room, just 7 miles from my house and feel like I was on another planet. The group there was a very tight knit family type group and I never really felt like they accepted me as part of their family. Groups like that are great to work with if you are one of the family but if you are an outsider trying to become part of that family they are very hard to break into.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Procrastination? Is being a smart aleck a talent? I can spend hours with a gym full of giggling silly middle school age girls and not feel the urge to strangle any of them.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Madison, South Dakota

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Since I didn't send this to anyone I look forward to anyone who answers at all.

New Flag

The other day my dear wife noticed that the American Flag that we have for the front of the house was getting a little ragged. So when she was out shopping she picked up a new flag. She picked out the one she wanted because it was the same size and had a picture on the front of the package that looked like it would mount onto the pole we already have.

My dear wife was careful to get a flag that was manufactured in the United States. As the front label on the package shows, the Annin Company is very proud of their history of making flags here in the United States. The mentioned it twice on the front label alone.



Once she got home she was going to put the new flag on our existing pole. But when she couldn't figure out how the get the old flag off the pole she asked for help. I mentioned that she should look on the back of the package to see if there were any instructions there. This is what she found:



I don't speak or read spanish, but I think that the writing here is essentially a repeat of the words on the front of the package.

But I have to ask, does the Annin Co. really sell so many flags to Latin Americans who cannot read English in this country that they need to label their flags in both languages?

Forever Stamp

The United States Post Office has come out with a new stamp. The forever stamp will not have a price posted on it. You buy the forever stamp at the current first class postage rate and the stamp is good for first class postage – forever. Even if the first class postage rates go up, your old forever stamps are still good.

I like this idea. Not because I intend to stock up and save money once the rates go up. But this way I don’t have to count how many stamps I have laying around and then go buy enough one or two cent stamps to make them all good. I’m still trying to use up the last of my 37 cent stamps, not to mention my 39 cent stamps.



I have heard several people saying that they plan on stocking up on the new forever stamps so that when the postage rates go up, they will be saving money. I have a better plan. Just save your money. Buy stamps when you need them and invest the money that you would have spent on stamps so that it is earning some interest or dividends.

Now before I go too far with this I should explain – I’m not an investment banker, a financial analyst or a stock broker. I’m just a guy who did a little simple math and decided that I don’t think that stocking up on 41 cent postage stamps is going to be a good hedge against inflation.

Let’s look up a little data, and then make some assumptions. Over the last 5 years, postage rates have gone up 4 cents. The last 10 years – 9 cents. 15 years – 12 cents. 20 years – 19 cents and so on. On average the postage rates tend to increase a little less than one cent per year. So I’m going to be pessimistic and assume that they are going to go up 1 cent per year every year.

Since I need a place to start, let’s assume that you use about 5 stamps per week, or 260 postage stamps per year. That seems to be about what my family goes through with birthday cards, Christmas cards, and the miscellaneous items that we still need to mail each week. The number used to be a lot higher, but with online bill paying, I only have to mail about one check per month.

If I use 260 stamps per year, over the next 5 years I would need 1300 stamps. If I buy forever stamps now, those 1300 stamps will cost me $533. But since I expect the price of postage to go up 1 cent per year, if I wait and buy my stamps as I need them over the five year period I would pay $559 for my stamps. So buying a five year supply of forever stamps now will save me $26 over the next five years.

Well, I have a different suggestion. Instead of spending $533 on 1300 stamps that will sit in my drawer for five years I plan on buying about 260 stamps each year as I need them, and investing the rest of the money in an account that earns at least 4% compounded monthly. That way my invested money earns enough interest that I can pay the income taxes on my earnings, and still earn enough to cover the increased cost of the postage increases.

So how could I lose or win in these situations? If the postage rates don’t go up one cent a year, then I’m money ahead. If they go up more than one cent a year they I’m going to wish I had bought 1300 stamps when I had the chance to. If my investments earn more than 4% then I’m money ahead, if they earn less, then I’m behind again. If the Democrats get their way and my taxes go up then I lose.

Of course I will try and be smart about buying my stamps. If in August the Postal Service tells me that the first class postage rate is going up 2 cents in November and I know I need 100 stamps for Christmas cards. Then I will buy my stamps before the price increase. What idiot wouldn’t? I think everyone understands the concept of “On sale.”

So is it a good idea to stock up on forever stamps or not? Like everything else in life there is no clear cut answer, which, by the way, I’m getting tired of. I miss the good old days of my youth when my decisions were much easier. Do I whack my sister when she pisses me off and then let Dad wail on my butt when he gets home, or should I just go outside and blow the heads off her Barbie dolls with my left over 4th of July firecrackers and risk Mom yelling at me for days if I wasn’t able to blame it on the kid across the street.

Never mind, I guess the decisions I had to make a child weren’t all that cut and dried either.

Dating in Ridgecrest

I didn't grow up in Ridgecrest so I never had to deal with being a high school kid and trying to find somewhere to take a girl on a date here. For years I've heard that the evening activities for teenagers here in Ridgecrest are limited.

This evening, I finished the bowling season. We bowled our sweeper, collected our winnings and everyone headed home. To celebrate the end of the season I decided to get myself an ice cream treat on the way home.

I decided to swing into Cold Stone Ice Cream for my treat. I was not that impressed with Cold Stone Ice Cream when they first opened up here over a year ago. But last year after the Trona Volleyball Tournament my team went to Cold Stone to celebrate. One of my 7th grade players introduced me to an ice cream creation called Cookie Doughn't You Want Some - french vanilla ice cream with chocolate chip cookie, chocolate chips, chocolate syrup and carmel syrup mixed in. Now I suddenly like Cold Stone Ice Cream, maybe just a little too much.

So I wandered into Cold Stone this evening. The only other customers in the place were a young, high school aged couple who were holding hands and ordering a medium ice cream creation and two spoons. After they left I ordered my ice cream treat and headed for my car. Out in the parking lot I found the young couple sitting on together on the hood of a car, snuggled together and sharing their ice cream while looking across the Home Depot parking lot. They looked very happy.

When I was in high school we didn't have a Home Depot parking lot to watch while sharing ice cream. I guess in some ways kids here have it a lot better than I did.

But they don't have the submarine races that we would watch. You could park next to Lake Absarraca in Cheyenne and watch the lights from passing cars on I15 as they reflected across the lake. If you didn't look too closely, the lights kind of looked like submarines racing across the lake. Unfortunately I don't remember ever sitting on the hood of the car and sharing an ice cream while doing this. Of course my car was a 51 oldsmobile and the rounded hood would have been difficult to sit on.

Movie Meme

Mostly Cajun has this movie meme up on his site and I decided to steal borrow it:

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.

Star Wars
Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
She Wore a Yellow Ribbon
Young Frankenstein
Raiders of the Lost Ark
The Quiet Man
The Adventures of Robin Hood
Yankee Doodle Dandy
McLintock
Hatari
Quigley Down Under
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Oklahoma
Yankee Doodle Dandy
Singing in the Rain
Brigadoon
Little Shop of Horrors
Camelot
Captain Horatio Hornblower

2. Name a movie that you’ve seen multiple times in the theater.

Star Wars
The Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
Halloween (There were several girls in college who wanted to see this movie and I was one of the few guys willing to go see it with them. I saw it 5 times. Mommy always taught me to be a gentleman. So when those poor sweet dears needed someone to hold onto when the movie got scary who was I to deny them my protection)
Alien
Young Frankenstein (Ditched English to go to the 3 PM show and sat through the 5:30, 8:00 and 10:30 showings also)
The Karate Kid (see number 14)

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.

Not many of todays actors or actresses will get me to the theater but I have rented, bought or gone to watch a movie simply because of:

John Wayne
Cary Grant
Jimmy Stewart
Marilyn Monroe
Doris Day
Olivia Dehavallind
Errol Flynn
Mel Brooks
Gene Kelly
Fred Astaire
Red Skelton
Bob Hope
Judy Garland
Audie Murphy
Elvis
Debbie Reynolds


4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.

Johhny Depp
Jane Fonda
Barbara Streisand
Most of todays young actors who exhibit a pathological need to shove their political views down our throats or condemn my lifestyle.

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.

Young Frankenstein
Blazing Saddles
Star Wars

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Oklahoma
Yankee Doodle Dandy
Singing in the Rain
Brigadoon
Little Shop of Horrors
Camelot

OK my dirty little secret is out - I like musicals

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with

All the musicals listed above as long as no one else is in the house. I love to sing, but I can't carry a tune in a wheelbarrow. So I don't sing where others can hear.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.

Watch the DVD box set Firefly
Then watch the movie Serenity

The Quiet Man
The Adventures of Robin Hood
Anything starring Harold Lloyd
Captain Horatio Hornblower


9. Name a movie that you own.

There are too many to list here. The actual number is well into 4 digits. Most of them self recorded onto DVD. I love movies. I like to collect actors works. I have over 100 John Wayne movies, and all but three of Judy Garland's Movies. I'm working my way through most of the rest of the list at number 3.

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.

Bing Crosby and Bob Hope

Just kidding....

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?

Yes, but not since college. The most memorable were a Mel Brooks Marathon, The Trinity movies marathon and a John Wayne/Howard Hawks marathon

12. Ever made out in a movie?

Um.. Yes.

13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to it.

Titanic

14. Ever walked out of a movie?

I walked out of The Karate Kid when my date got sick (flu) and wanted to go home. No reflection of the movie. When I saw it later I enjoyed it.

15. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.

Yong Frankenstein (tears of laughter)
Old Yeller (the other kind of tears)

16. Popcorn?

Absofragginglutely

17. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or watching them at home)?

In my young and single days at least once a week. When my dear wife and I were dating and before we had children we spent almost every saturday afternoon at the theater. For the last 5 years I get to the theater about 5 times a year. We still love movies, just not most of the crap they are producing these days.

18. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?

300

19. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie?

Sci-fi
Musical
Adventure
Comedy


20. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?

That Darned Cat - my grandfather took me. We stood in line for what seemed like forever. He bought me popcorn, soda, and candy all three of which I spilled on him at one time or another during the movie.


21. What movie do you wish you had never seen?

Emmanuel the Joys of a Woman. They showed it at the Student Union in College, I had completed three final exams that day and was exhausted. But this was the first chance any of my friends and I had to see an X rated movie. So we went. I fell asleep, then in the middle of one of the heavy sex scenes, I (while sound asleep) toppled over out of my chair into the aisle. It was extrememly embarassing. I should have just followed my first impulse and gone to bed that night. I guess this is kind of a phony answer since I never actually saw most of the movie.

22. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?

Rocky Horror Picture Show. I avoided this movie for months, then finally went to a midnight showing where the audiance (except me) were all dressed like characters in the movie and they all knew the responses, what to throw an when. Once I got over being self concious I had a blast.

23. What is the scariest movie you’ve seen?

Tie between Alien and Halloween

24. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?

Young Frankenstein

I have seen lots of hillarious movies in my days, but I never laughed so hard at a movie in all my life.

49

49

IL

50-1

7 squared

Today is pi day. 3.14. It is also my birthday.

According to my sister I'm older than dirt and close enough to 50 that she can round up and claim I'm half a century old. Her turns comes in just a couple years.

I didn't have the kind of day I wanted to today. I have never gone to work on my birthday. For 25 years I have always taken a vacation day on my birthday. My normal birthday routine is to sleep in, get some exercise with a walk, a bike ride or some golf. Then I like to catch an afternoon movie. I've been doing this for 25 years now. This year was different. I needed to have a meeting with a guy at work this week about a job. The only time he had available in his schedule was this morning. So I abandoned my own personal quarter century tradition and rolled my one year older butt out of bed, showered, shaved, dressed and went to work this morning.

When I got to my meeting I found his door locked and no one around. I waited for about half an hour and finally gave up and went over to my office to see if there were any messages on my phone or e-mail. I had one phone message on my machine from 1:30 yesterday afternoon telling me that the guy I needed to meet with had changed his plans and wanted to meet this afternoon at 2:30 instead. I was livid. I am also sick and tired of our phone answering system at work. The last thing I did last night before leaving the range where I was working was to check for phone messages. There were none. Then this morning there was a message dated yesterday afternoon. This is not an isolated occurance. I have checked for messages before leaving for lunch and had none, and when I get back I find two messages on the system from earlier that morning.

So I stood there in my office wondering if I should blow off the rest of my birthday plans and keep the afternoon meeting or salvage what I could of my plans and put the meeting off until next week. While trying to decide I noticed an email from my boss. When I opened it up I found out that he has arranged for me to be pulled off the testing I'm helping with and reassigned to excorting some visitors around the base next tuesday. This really pissed me off. Since my boss thinks that my time is better spent excorting uncleared visitors around instead of doing something useful I decided that I really didn't give a damned today. So I called the voicemail for the guy from my meeting and politiely explained that I was on leave today and I had already changed my morning plans for him and I was unable to change my afternoon plans. I explained that I would be happy to meet with him anytime next week, except on tuesday. If escorting visitors is more important than testing then it is also probably more important than a job interview.

Then I left work, came home and took a nap. I went to see 300 this afternoon. It was a pretty good movie. I'm no historical expert on Leonides and his Spartans but this movie had very little history in it. About the only historically accurate stuff was probably some of the main character's names. But that was no big deal. I didn't go to see a historical documentary I went to see an adventure movie. It was a pretty darned good one. My only complaint was that the ending was too much like giving up. The action was great. The stylized battle sequences were fantastically done.

After the movie there wasn't much time left in my day. I picked my daugher up and took her to volleyball practice. During her practice I has a coach's meeting for the city league. I got my roster and schedules. I have a very young team. It should be an interesting year.

When we got back home around 8 PM the twins were bursting with excitement. The fact that I had a small pile of wrapped presents sitting on the table to be opened was driving them nuts. So I opened my presents. We had some homemade carrot cake. Watched an episode of Mythbusters and then everyone headed for bed. Don't let it be said that this old man doesn't know how to party.

Rapid Performance Art

Apparently a couple French performance artists caught the good people of Rapid City, SD a little off guard with thier avante garde performance at the Dahl Center the other night.

After stripping off their grubby clothes, the pair gobbled potato chips and spit them on the crowd, vomited into a filthy commode and threw around fake feces and urine before being shut down about a half hour into what was to be a 45-minute performance.

I grew up in Rapid City in the 60s. The only performance art I remember as a kid was watching the hippies in Wilson Park dancing to whatever music was playing in their heads at the time.

My main question is why was anyone still sitting in the seats watching when the show was shut down. Oh wait, I suspect it was kind of like driving past the scene of an accident. You know you shouldn't look but you just can't help yourself.

Seeing as how feces and urine were a key part of their performance I suspect that the NEA will be cutting the artist a large check.

And The Oscar Goes To:

I don't know and I don't care.

My family continued our boycott of the Academy Awards this evening. Instead we watched Gone with the Wind and Casablanca. The rest of the family has headed for bed and I'm watching the 1957 horror movie The Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas with Forrest Tucker and Peter Cushing. At least it was a horror movie in 1957.

My family gave up watching the Oscars several years ago when we started realizing that this was an award show honoring people we don't like or respect for making movies that we don't watch. So why would we care fit what they wear, who they thank or what awards they win?

Maybe if Hollywood ever starts making more than 4 or 5 movies a year that we are willing to watch, and if thier stars stick to acting and stop shooting their mouths off in public about things they know nothing about we might start watching again. But I don't expect that to happen any time soon.

Besides, Ellen Degeneris is no Johnny Carson.

Laura Bush’s Dress

WCBS in New York has a news story out targeting First Lady Laura Bush because three other women showed up at the White House Christmas Party wearing the same dress as the first lady. Actually the story called it a holiday reception. Bite Me! It was a Christmas Party. It seems that this $8500 dress was so popular that three different women just had to have one. Personally I can’t see spending that kind of money on a dress but then I’m not one of the rich and beautiful people. I work for a living.

So how did the first lady handle this situation? As the hostess of the party she had the luxury of being able to go upstairs and change outfits. So she spent $8500 on a dress so it could hang in the closet. Wonderful…..

How did the media report this totally meaningless incident?

Laura Bush Can't Compete, Changes Outfit Mid-Party

First Lady Laura Bush. Oops!

Despite the fact that Mrs. Bush changed, the incident won't be forgotten any time soon.

Fox News called it a Major Fashion Faux Pas!

All this leads me to ask three questions. First off, a woman shows up at a party wearing the same dress as the hostess and it’s the hostess’s fault? Secondly did the president run upstairs and change in to jeans and a flannel shirt because another man showed up in a black tux? And finally, why is this news, why does anyone care and why the hell am I writing about it?

The Continued Woosification of America

The bleeding hearts of America who have dedicated their lives to turning us into a nation of woosies are at it again. This time they are attacking in my old home town of Cheyenne Wyoming.

Over the past few years I have seen several news articles and blog entries about how elementary school staff have been prohibiting potentially violent playground games. The favorite target of the past has been the game dodgeball. Now having pretty much eliminated dodgeball from the elementary school system the woosifiers have decided to target the game - tag.

That’s right – tag. You know, lots of kids and one kid is “it.” The child who is “it” chases the other kids until they touch one, then the touched kid becomes “it.”

Does this sound like a violent game to you?

The student handbook for Freedom Elementary School in Cheyenne WY has this list of playground don’ts:

Students will NOT:

• Engage in fighting or activities that show physical aggression such as pushing, hitting, or kicking.
  
• Tease, bully, or call other students inappropriate names.
  
• Play any type of tag. This leads to aggression and torn clothing.
  
• Use improper or inappropriate language. Such language will not be tolerated.
  
• Eat candy or food, drink beverages, or chew gum on the playground.
  
• Throw any objects (ice, snow, rocks, bark, sticks, dirt, etc.) that could hurt others.
  
• Use rough play, push or “play fight” on the playground.
  
• Pull or play “keep-away” with other people’s property (coats, hats, backpacks, etc.)
  
• Bring toys from home to play with.
  

Emphasis is theirs, not mine.

Not allowing kids to play tag is so important to the administrators at Freedom Elementary that it is only one of two lines on this page of the handbook that is in bold type. The other is:

“• Keep hands and feet to self.”

So I’m left no alternative to thinking that the staff at Freedom Elementary consider Tag to be one of the greatest playground threat to their students.

On a different note, if this set of rules had existed when I was in elementary school, recess would have consisted of a couple hundred kids standing around wondering “What the crap are we supposed to do now?”

Recess activities in the 1960s consisted almost exclusively of:fighting, physical aggression, pushing, hitting, or kicking, teasing, bullying, calling other students names, tag, throwing anything we could get our hands on (ice, snow, rocks, bark, sticks, dirt, etc.), rough play, pushing, “play fighting” and keep-away with other people’s property (coats, hats, marbles, books, etc.)

I hate to admit that I was usually on the receiving end of most of this kind of treatment. I didn’t enjoy recess all that much because of that. But I did look forward to getting out of that classroom for a break anyway. I learned to deal with the playground. It was part of growing up. Kids have to learn how to deal with all sorts of situations and protecting them from even the possibility of a push, bump or bruise is not doing them any favors.

So what is next for the Future Woosies of America at Freedom Elementary? No running, no playing, no jumping, no recess. When the teachers need a break from the students will they will make the students lie down and not move for 20 minutes. Maybe they should take away their pencils also, you wouldn’t want someone to accidentally poke them selves with a sharp object now would you? I still have the pencil lead in my right hand from where I got stabbed with my own pencil when in 6th grade.

Cheyenne is the last place that I would have expected this type of behavior to show up. Maybe the staff at Freedom Elementary should all go get jobs in Massachusetts, Oregon, Washington, or even California. They might fit in better there.

Space - Explore or Die?

Astrophysicist Stephen Hawking speaking to a packed house in Hong Kong said:

The survival of the human race depends on its ability to find new homes elsewhere in the universe because there's an increasing risk that a disaster will destroy the Earth.

Hawking is one of the most brilliant minds of our life time. Listen to him. There are so many different things that could destroy life as we know it on this mud ball we call earth.

My grandma and Grandpa taught me all about putting all your eggs in one basket. The human race definately has all their eggs in one basket. We need to start exploring some other options. There is a whole great big universe out there and yet we seem content to sit here and crap in our own little corner of it. What ever happened to the "Lets see what is over that next hill" attitude?

"We won't find anywhere as nice as Earth unless we go to another star system,"

Hawling added

If humans can avoid killing themselves in the next 100 years, they should have space settlements that can continue without support from Earth.

"It is important for the human race to spread out into space for the survival of the species. Life on Earth is at the ever-increasing risk of being wiped out by a disaster, such as sudden global warming, nuclear war, a genetically engineered virus or other dangers we have not yet thought of."

Or even the other disasters we have thought of like major asteroid impact, massive volcanic eruption or catastrophic earthquakes. Hawking was focusing on human caused destruction and seemed to forget that mother nature is just as capable of wiping us out as we are.