Right now all I can think of is to quietly mourn her failure as a competitive athlete and my failure as her coach and father for not teaching her better.
I know that as a coach there is always going to be some girls who just aren’t going to “get it.” But why did my first big failure have to be my own daughter?
At the time I was confronted I tried to explain that I wasn't bemoaning my daughter's failure I was complaining about my own failure.
My friends complaints, even though he was very diplomatic really grated on me. So after stewing about it for a day I went back and re-read what I had written. Just so I could prove to him that I wasn't unloading on my kid.
Robert, you were right. This does sound like I'm saying that my daughter is a failure. So I want to apologise right now to you because I didn't take your comlaint and comments seriously. I also want to apologize to my daughter, in case she ever reads this.
My daughter is not a failure. She was good enough to make it through the tryouts and be a member of the freshman volleyball team. The only failures in this whole mess are mine. First as her coach because I didn't do a good enough job of making sure that she was as prepared for high school volleyball as the other girls. Secondly I failed at not appreciating her accomplishment for what it was. I have been too focused on trying to help her prepare for the future that I forgot to enjoy the moment. Lastly I failed in expressing myself rationally and in a coherent manner.
But then isn't that last one what most of my last blog entry was all about?
1 comment:
I was tempted to comment that you and Chaos were experiencing that dreaded condition "teenager" on your Not Writing post, but decided that wasn't really what seemed to be going on. I think the problem may be one of conflicted personea's; are you speaking to her/is she reacting to you as Dad or coach? The number of possible responses to that question allows plenty of opportunity for angst and frustration for both parties I think. I'm glad to read that the old home town as such sensible people living in it now :).
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