What Senator's Are Thinking

I have watched bits and pieces of the Alito confirmation hearings over the last few days. One thing that has really stood out to me is many of the Senator's almost pathological inability to allow Judge Alito to talk without interupting him. Senators Leahy and Binden seem to be the worst offenders (for interrupting). Both will drone on for several minutes jumping from thought to thought and eventually they reach a place where they ask a question. Judge Alito will begin to answer the questions but is invariable interrupted by the Senator who then starts another rambling disassemblage.

Now thanks to a miraculous new technology, the source of which I'm not at liberty to disclose, we can finally hear what is going on in these Senator's minds during these hearings.

Senator Leahy:

"Oh Crap he is starting to make me sound like a fool, I'd better interrupt him and ask a different question. Oh Crap he is starting to make me sound like a fool, I'd better interrupt him and ask a different question. Oh Crap he is starting to make me sound like a fool, I'd better interrupt him and ask a different question."

Senator Binden:

"Hey? He's talking again. Why is he talking again? The Chairman said I would get 20 minutes. Why is he talking during my 20 minutes. He's still talking. What is this? He has used up almost 30 seconds of my 20 minutes. Why is he talking? Did I remember to tell him that I hate Princeton?"

Senator Feinstein:

"OK, don't open your eyes really wide or they will think you are Nancy Pelosi. Be careful, don't close them too much or they will think I'm talking in my sleep like that idiot Boxer always does. Now, get my scowl set just right, i need to find that balance between wicked witch of the west and ranting harpie. Now, timing has to be perfect, just as he starts to actually answer my question I need to shake my fist in the air and point out that this isn't about him, it's all about Johnny Depp. Man he makes a cute pirate, I really like the beads in his beard. Careful, don't let your eyes open too far."

Senator Kennedy:

"I wonder if that hottie in the third row likes beer. Do you think she likes quiet rides in the country? I wonder if she can swim? Damnit, that new rule about not dating anyone who can't swim is really cramping my style. Man is it lunch time yet, I'm really thristy. Wow, when DiFi opens her eyes really wide she looks just like Nancy Pelosi. I wonder if Nancy can swim?"

Senator Schumer:

"Ha! We made her cry, we made her cry, we made her cry. I love it when their wives cry. Whoa. DiFi really does that ranting harpie scowl well. I wonder if she can teach me how to do that?"

Senator Spectre:

"I guess it's about time to call a recess, Teddy looks like his blood alcohol level is dropping again."