Monday, April 04, 2005

Why a Catholic School?

I've mentioned before that my immediate family and I aren't Catholic but that we send our kids to a Catholic School. I often get asked "Why?" Then when I start mentioning things like 'Christian Environment', 'Academic Standards', 'Small Class Sizes', 'faith based education' and 'Moral Standards' most people's eyes glaze over and they start ignoring me. So instead I decided to compile a list of reasons why you should not send your child to a Catholic School. I call it

Do not send your kid to a Catholic School if....

  1. You figure the best way for your child to lose weight is to have the class bully beat them up and take their lunch money each day.
  2. Your son is going to be a carpenter or plumber and you want him to get an early start at wearing his pants so low that he moons people while standing up.
  3. You suspect that the French Streetwalker fashion is going to be big this year and want your daughter to get in on the ground floor.
  4. You can't afford college and are afraid that your kid will do well on his SATs.
  5. You think that your child should be suspended from school for praying on her math test for some help from the almighty with factoring a quadratic equation.
  6. You think it's the schools job to educate your children, you did your part when you dropped them off there this morning.
  7. You think that kids who test well above national norms on standardized tests are freaks.
  8. You think it is un-necessary for your child to learn and use good manners when dealing with others.
  9. You think that the nice guys always finish last.
  10. You think it builds character for a kid to occasionally beat up another kid, or get beat up themselves.
  11. You think that buying a new car every other year, taking fancy vacations and wearing lots of bling bling are more important than your childs future.
  12. You think that your child should learn about sex education in the hallways between classes.
  13. You think that nachos is a nutrious lunch, and that ketchup is a vegatable.
  14. You think that it important that your child not only learn how to say four letter words but they should be able to read them in the graffiti as well.
  15. You think that tagging is an art program and shouting down those who disagree with you is a debate team.
  16. You like the idea of someone stomping your kid into the ground in order to steal their new tennis shoes or jeans.
  17. You think that having teachers who take a genuine interest in their students will make your children soft.
  18. You think that sportsmanship has no place in school athletic programs.
  19. You think a student tossing a rubberband onto a teachers desk is an attack with a deadly weapon.


More Serious Reasons why we send our kids to a Catholic School are here:

Why Catholic School Part 1

Why Catholic School Part 2

Why Catholic School Part 3

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