Buying Fireworks

I told my dear wife about 4 PM this afternoon that I was going to run out and pick up some fireworks for tomorrow. She handled this well. She calmly kissed me goodbye and then settled down to figure out which of our three children we were going to have to sell to cover my explosives debt this year.

I can't help it. I'm a guy. I like things that burn or explode.

There's this lady, Gloria, who works the fireworks booth that is run by the Parent Teacher Guild at my kid's school every year. I swear that she could sell a cement block to a drowning man. I always try to avoid shopping while she is there because she is able to tap into my deep seated love of things that go boom and I end up spending way too much money.

Well this year my timing was horrible. Not only was Gloria there but the other two people working with her refused to wait on me. So as Gloria and I chatted and talked and joked together my bag of purchases just kept getting bigger and bigger.

I ended up spending about $20 more than last year but I don't feel too bad about it.

On display outside the booth was the biggest assortment of fireworks I have ever seen. It was a box of fireworks that was about 3 feet wide and between 5 and 6 feet tall. It cost $500. But claimed to have an individual retail worth of over $650.

I joked that I was glad that she didn't try to sell me that assortment. If I spent that much on fireworks I would never be able to go home again. That's when that other workers told me that I was too late, Gloria sold that assortment yesterday.

At that point I paid for my purchases and got out of there as quickly as possible. I didn't want to be the second guy in two days to succumb to Gloria's salesmanship. Because if she could sell that assortment she could sell anything.